THANK GOD FOR SEX
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Negotiating Black Female Sexuality in the Black Church

8/26/2014

3 Comments

 
Picture
by Olivia Smarr

When I was five years old I joined the new Youth Liturgical Dance Ministry at my church. In the dance ministry we explored how to use our bodies to serve the Lord and minister to the congregation. However, there were some rules involved.
Most of the movements we did solely involved arms, hands, or legs—no torso or hip movements, because they could be perceived as sexual. We were also restricted in our appearance. Our ministry garments were loose and oversized, so that no figure could be discerned underneath. We wore pants under the skirts and dresses that we danced in, and a full unitard under all of that. The only parts of our bodies exposed were our heads, hands, and feet. These guidelines were all intended to prevent our bodies from distracting from the message of the Gospel we were supposed to be sharing.



Although these guidelines might seem typical of white Evangelical “modesty culture”, there was a slightly different context in this case. My church was African Methodist Episcopalian—a denomination founded by freed slaves. Most of the members of my church were Black, and so were the women of the dance ministry. Thus, the form of “modesty culture” exhibited by the dance ministry was not just about shaming women, but critiquing the bodies of Black women in particular. In the Black Church, traditional Christian doctrine comes up against the sexual politics surrounding Black bodies. Black bodies have historically been exoticized and sexualized, putting them in direct opposition to the Eurocentric standards of purity that persist in the tradition of the Protestant Christian church. The hypersexualization of Black women dates back to European exploration of the African continent hundreds of years ago. Europeans viewed Black bodies as deviant and fetishized them. During slavery in the U.S., White slave owners thought Black women were incapable of not wanting sex. They were assumed to be always promiscuous, and were therefore routinely raped and sexually abused. Because Black bodies are always seen as sexual, Black women have to work extra hard in order to be seen as “pure”.



Because we’ve been subconsciously perceived as hypersexual and promiscuous for so long sometimes we try to completely remove ourselves from sexual pleasure in order to not fit that stereotype. We don’t talk about pleasure openly. We don’t teach our youth about it. We caution against pregnancy, against dressing a certain way, against hanging out with a certain group of people, against listening to certain music in order to appear as though we are not sexual beings. But we are. And sexuality is something to be embraced, not shamed. However, we are in a difficult position. How do we, as Black Christian women, embrace our sexuality in a Christian culture that demonizes our bodies and views us as impure because of our shape and the color of our skin? How do we do so without fitting the hypersexualized stereotype society has for us? I don’t have easy answers for those questions, but I think it is time that we begin to shift the rhetoric around sexuality in the Black church, especially pertaining to women.



When I have children, I will teach them that sexuality is a gift from God. That the color of their skin does not make them less holy than other people, that the shape of their hips or the girth of their backsides is not something they should be ashamed about. I will teach them that sexual pleasure is something that is available to all of us and that it is a great thing to experience. I will teach them to happily and unapologetically embrace both their spirituality and sexuality. I will speak candidly with them about sexuality and explain to them that their bodies do not have to be at odds with their faith. These are things I wish I had learned as a young woman growing up in the Black Church.



Over time I have had to unlearn the sexual shame that plagued my childhood and teenage years while I was growing up as a young Black woman in the church. I now see my body and my sexuality as something that is beautiful, as something designed by God to enjoy. I do not think that my life as a spiritual being is different from my life as a sexual being. I believe that the identities are integrated, and I don’t have to choose between the two.

3 Comments
Andrea Hale
8/26/2014 11:49:50 am

Olivia, always an inspiration.

Reply
Denise @ SOULa Scriptura link
8/27/2014 07:41:21 am

Sister, preach it! Great insight. This was very much my own experience in a similar setting (we might have even been in the same dance ministry, LOL).

Reply
Kai
8/31/2014 12:21:26 pm

"I will teach them that sexual pleasure is something that is available to all of us and that it is a great thing to experience. I will teach them to happily and unapologetically embrace both their spirituality and sexuality. I will speak candidly with them about sexuality and explain to them that their bodies do not have to be at odds with their faith."

My contention with the quote above is that once our cultural norms dictate the standard of God, then we have no faith at all, just a close replica. Truth is absolute. Hence, if we believe the Bible to be the infallible word of God, then we can biblically deduce that sex is indeed a gift from God, strictly within the confines of marriage between one man and one woman. Sheer liberty does not equate to God's cosign or endorsement. And what I mean by that is this: When I was in elementary school, my Mom bought me a Nintendo 64. It was a gift. However, that gift came with certain parameters, which were non-negotiable. Such parameters included the completion of all of my homework in order to play. If I didn't do my homework, then access to the gift was restricted. But sometimes I would use my sheer liberty as the owner of that gift to play it without abiding by my mother's instructions, which she made perfectly clear to me on numerous occasions. As a result of my disobedience, I would be corrected and/or restricted even further from using the gift. However, even during the times where it was restricted, it was still my gift. I still owned it. My access was simply contingent upon my obedience. What I'm pointing to is that fact that sexual relations between a man and a woman is a marvelous gift that the Lord gives us, even though He commands us to refrain from using that gift until we're married. However, anatomically, if we have a consenting partner, we can violate those restrictions if we choose. We can use our gift against His will, and just as my mother appropriated correction to me, so He will do the same for us. I pray that we do not come to a place where we begin to use moments in history, where God's protective ordinances were oppressively abused, as an opportunity to disregard His word in its entirety for the sake of "liberty" and "freedom" from the oppressors. God-ordained freedom has margins, which, if abided by, will yield eternal fruit, not just temporal satisfaction. The Lord's standard for marriage, sexuality, etc. long preceded Colonialism, the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, etc. We need to believe God, not man. In the book of Hebrews, it says that Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness. We too have the same opportunity to believe God with our bodies, intellect, and spirit. May He baptize us in the Holy Spirit, so that we may see the world through His lens, and not the lens of bitterness, resentment, or cultural norms.

"Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; 2 for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit."
- 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

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