In Pursuit of a Sex Positive Gospel

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by Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD

As a sex therapist, I commonly see couples who have experienced various forms of sexual dysfunction due to their extensive sex negative cultural and religious upbringing. After observing this pattern, I sought to find the sex positive message I believed to be hidden in the dusty vault of Judeo/Christian collective history.
Teaching at a religious university gave me insight into the lives of people who had experienced various western religious doctrine. It also helped me understand that many people, while desperately desiring a different relationship with their body and sexuality, also wanted to stay rooted in their faith system as they sought healing. Embracing Eastern worldviews were often not an option for them.

Recognizing this need, myself and a group of grad assistants at Seattle Pacific University spent four years tracing history, combing many forms of Judeo/Christian literature, talking with theology and history scholars, mining ancient stories and resurrecting the intentional created gift of sexual desire and sexual pleasure that had always been the heartbeat of the Torah.

Amazingly, we found story after story in ancient Hebrew scripture and mysticism of Yahweh’s attempt for us to know the creative power in sexual desire and the delicious sensual touch of pleasure.
One story demonstrates how God saw sexual union between partners as a reminder of his love and desire to commune in the place where love is created/made. Another tells the tale of how the cherubim in the holy of holies of the last temple destroyed in 72AD were in seated sexual embrace; famous rabbis across history reminded people that these cherubs were there to remind God’s people of his deep eros, and that lovemaking was meant to be a sacred, mindful, intentional practice. Another powerful discovery was the Vow of Onah, which outlines how to increase pleasure and connection in the sexual relationship over time. In many ways, the Vow reveals a type of Hebrew Tantra — guidelines that invite mindfulness, attention, intention, and love in various forms of touch and sexual expression.

Passion for Life™ – An Intimacy Retreat for Couples
Knowing how helpful Tantric retreats are for couples, my partner and I developed a 3½ day retreat for couples whose spiritual home is decidedly western. At the Passion For Life™ retreats, couples incorporate these sex positive Judeo/Christian mystic stories, accurate information about sexual health and gender, cultural and religious historical insight, gender split groups and modified giver/receiver intimacy exercises. Throughout, couples who have experienced sexual shame and dysfunction explore whether or not this information within a multi-modal experiential retreat model can promote significant healing.
Many couples found that it can. We have witnessed amazing transformations, connections and new intimacy between couples. Indeed, research shows that the long-term effects of these retreats demonstrate significant lasting improvement in marital and sexual satisfaction. We are excited to know that people who desire to adhere to a Judeo/Christian framework now have a truly sex positive model that will allow them to heal and claim their sexuality and spirituality dynamically and erotically together.

The next Passion For Life™ Retreat will be Sept 24-27, 2015 at the Whistler Pan Pacific, in beautiful Whistler, British Columbia. To obtain more information or to see if there are still openings click here.

Read more about the retreat on page 4 & 5 in the Spirituality & Health article “In Pursuit of Sacred Sex.”